Where would we be without The Arsenal?

better halves to changing rooms to offer their paltry, half-arsed opinions on maxi-dresses, open-toed sandals and slingbacks, whatever the f*ck they are.  Fans wandering the shop floor for a place to perch and pluck their phone from their pockets, playing whatever new game there is that blots out the miserable existence of weekends.  A fan sees another fan across the dunes of blouses.  They say the eyes are windows to the soul, well both mens' eyes send out a bleating message of melancholy.  Fans nomadically walking around BandQ looking at what potted plants could liven up the back patio, but not really giving a f*ck either way. Scores of fans in coffee shops, or sitting indoors, trying to care about golf or tennis.  No fervent nature, no blind-eyed support.  Just looking ahead to the working week and looking forward to the respite. 

Weekends without a point.  Ploughing your thoughts and cash into some time-wasting efforts or hobbies that might pique your interest somewhat, but in your subconscious you know full well that nothing will grab you by the funspot and simply engulf you. Nothing. So it's back to efforts in procrastination. Twitter would be a f*cking wasteland of food-photos and vitriol. 

This isn't a dating blog, but my other hobbies include Playstation, movies and eating copious amounts of meat (Ha!).  So I'd be the character in South Park in the World of Warcraft episode, all my self poured into a cyber-dream version of myself that is the complete opposite of what I would be.  World conqueror in my head, morbidly-obese, half-dead, balding, cooking in my own bodily-juices, in real life. 

Since the epic triumph in the Cup, I've been like a street urchin, feasting on the raggedy bones and burger wrappers that is the League Play-offs and any foreign football I can find.  Thank heavens for Sky and my laptop.  Now most of that has reached it's nadir, the WC is on the horizon.  Exciting stuff but I yearn for Arsenal. 

It's still hugely exciting for us Gooners though, despite what the nay-sayers and doom-mongerers cry. Arsene will reinforce this summer. We are on the up. Cue the speculation and lies, bring on the smoke and indeed mirrors, herald the untold stories of players currently at Heathrow Costa Coffee, wearing Arsenal Polo shirts, consuming biscotti with their lattes.  This is the stuff that, despite the fact I, along with the majority, abhor the transfer talk, it still gives me sustenance, a source of Arsenal.  Whilst we know that Edinson Cavani, Reus and Balotelli are not currently at Colney having the craic with Vik Akers, The contentment I get from seeing like-minded Gooners share my thoughts and opinions lambasting the tripe-flingers is good enough to last me until The Emirates Cup, which I shall be attending.  A man cannot live on bread alone, but I'd rather have a bread-only diet than be a coprophiliac.  Seems sound logic to me.  Time to read some more fabrication.  I'm hungry.

@JokmanAFC

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