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Arsenal's World Class Future Squad

Every now and then, you just have to accept that at the end of the day, a loss was a fair result. You have no choice but to sit back and admit that the opposing team fully deserved the three points.

Unfortunately, because we played Chelsea, I'm afraid I can't do that. I hate them. I hate them I hate them I hate them I hate them. So bloody much.

I hate their fans. I hate their Judas-y Spanish playmaker. I hate their inbred werewolf of a striker. I hate their physio who everyone thinks is fit but is like 4 feet tall. And I f*cking despise Jose Mourinho.

For this reason, I'm not completely unhappy about Sunday's game. While we lost to the scummiest bunch of low-lives on Earth, Arsene made Mourinho sh!t his pants by simply placing his hands on his chest. That was amazing.

Other than that, Sunday was awful. I can't complain, only because I would just be repeating everything I've said all season. The only small positive I can find from a game that we never really looked like winning is that we actually set out with somewhat of a tactic.

Rather than keeping with the cute little attacking play that contributed to the annihilation handed to us last year, we came in more defensively, determined to deprive Fabregas of space. We seemed content to fight for a draw, something that many fans have been longing to see for ages.

And it worked! Yes, we had a plan that actually worked!

That is, until Eden Hazard reminded us what we're missing out on by not mustering up enough cash to get a deal done in 2012. Maybe Koscielny could have done better on the penalty, but it's difficult to stop a genius at work.

From then on, we returned to an attacking state, leaving ourselves practically begging for a counter attack. I think we were quite lucky that it only ended with 2 goals against us, as we really were wide open at times.

And of course, it was Fabregas who provided the inch-perfect assist. This made me sad.

In the end though, we really were outplayed. As much as I hate saying it, our team isn't quite at the level of theirs at this point.

They're basically a team of superstars. We have two right now, and neither played anywhere near what we expect from them. Ozil and Alexis went missing in a game that desperately needed a little bit of creative genius.

I don't know what the answer is. I have no clue how we'll be able to compete with teams like Chelsea, who have been splashing hundreds of millions on players, year after year. It seems like no matter how much we strengthen, they'll always be able to improve that little bit more.

You might say I'm just being a miserable pessimist after losing to one of my least favourite teams of all time. I probably am. Even so, I'm finding it seriously challenging to think of a realistic way to bridge the gap between good and incredible.

I do think we're good enough to make the top four again. It might be difficult, but I reckon it'll happen. But does no one recall that time when we went 49 games without a loss? That period where we felt, for lack of a better word, invincible?

I want that again. I so badly crave that feeling of being on top of the footballing world. Instead, we're stuck with being the fourth best team in England, year after year. Even after we sign Mesut Ozil and Alexis Sanchez, two of the best players IN THE F*CKING UNIVERSE, we continue to find a way to remain "good" and nothing more.

If you look at the Invincibles team compared to our current one, the gulf in class is massive. There wasn't really a weak link in their squad, and basically every player could have gotten into any team around the world. In our team now, there are weaknesses and areas to exploit throughout.

To be fair, I don't think we'll ever have a team like that again, but the drop in quality is incredible. We're on the rise, but getting back to that world-class stature is going to take quite a lot of doing.

Some players are good, and will do the job as long as that job is to reach the top four every season. If the goal is to be winning the league all the time, we'll need a little bit more in those areas. Whether we'll just have to ask more from those players, or whether we'll have to replace them all with slightly better alternatives, I don't know.

We don't have the money to completely revamp the side. That is something only a handful of clubs can do, and we are not among that tiny group. If we're going to be realistic, I think it'll take at least a decade to reach the heights that we all desire so much.

Hey, I just had a great idea. Since this has turned into one of the most miserable posts of my career, I'm going to try to lighten it by predicting the squad in ten years. If aliens haven't taken over the world by then, and the internet is still a thing, you'll be able to look back at this and laugh at me a lot.

Here we go.

GK: Wojciech Szczesny
Age: 34
Description: Veteran keeper. Large fan of the 4-D selfie, where he can kiss you through the photograph. Still a lunatic, but been a great servant for the club. One of the best in our history.

LB: Johnny Wallace
Age: 24
Description: Broke out onto the scene in 2019 and hasn't looked back since. One of the best crossers in the game. A couple of flaws defensively, but he's often well covered by the rest of the back four.

CB: Calum Chambers
Age: 29
Description: Best central defender in the world.

CB: Aymeric Laporte
Age: 30
Description: Signed in 2015 as a replacement for the aging Mertesacker. Been a staple in the Arsenal side ever since. Calm and composed, much like his predecessor, but unlike him, he can actually run faster than a snail.

RB: Hector Bellerin
Age: 29
Description: In the summer of 2018, Hector somehow got totally ripped. He now bosses wingers all around the world.

LM: Alfonso Rodrigues
Age: 19
Description: The only good Spanish player left. Touted to be the next Cristiano Ronaldo, except he's not a prick. One of the best youngsters around.

CM: Gedion Zelalem
Age: 27
Description: Was Bellerin's workout buddy in 2018. The perfect midfielder, and possibly the best passer in the history of the game.

CM: Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain
Age: 31
Description: Brilliant box-to-box player who gives it his all every time. Beginning to lose his electric pace, but his driving characteristics are still ever-present.

RM: Steven Robertson
Age: 25
Description: Goal-scoring winger who loves to cut in on his left peg. Not the fastest of wingers, but one of the most clinical.

CF: Daniel Crowley
Age: 27
Description: Basically Messi. My favourite player of all time.

ST: Chuba Akpom
Age: 28
Description: Basically Thierry Henry. In my top 10 players of all time. Club-record goalscorer.

Manager: Jurgen Klopp
Age: 57
Description: Best manager of all time.

Assistant Manager: Dennis Bergkamp
Age: 55
Description: Now that teleportation is a thing, he can go to Champions League games. Mentored Crowley throughout his career and legally adopted him in 2019.

So yeah, that's exactly what our team is going to look like. I know that everyone is a bit old, but you haven't even seen the bench. It's overflowing with wonderkids.

Arsenal took up a policy of not selling anyone they didn't want to sell, no matter the price being offered. Worked out pretty well for them.

Anyway, I can dream, right?

Till next time.

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Tags: Arsenal, Arsenal FC, Goonersphere, Arsenal Football Club

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