goonersphere logo website logo-02

Last Years Top 6 - Where are they now?

My Attempts at Humour

Yawn. I'm tired and I suppose to keep in tradition with my abhorrent writing style I should preface this drivel by saying my views are in no way a reflection of the views held by Goonersphere or the Goonersphere Podcast or any of their debauchery-ridden subsidiaries. My views instead stem from a reasonably adequate childhood, a grammar school upbringing and a general naivety that can be both endearing and frustrating, or so I'm told.

Now in case the title didn't give it away, this article will give my preliminary analysis on the so called "top 6" and I may even do a bit on Spurs, because frankly we can all do with a laugh now and then. I believe an ancient scholar put it best- Spurs are the perfect neighbours, if you are ever in dire need of a laugh then you need only give them a cursory glance; they are to put it simply the gift that just keeps giving.

Speaking of gifts that keep giving I would also like to take this opportunity in true Goonersphere fashion to name my Prick Of The Week (POTW), now I understand that some of you care very little for my frankly abysmal attempts at literary humour so feel free to skip down to the bits about football, though in complete honesty my knowledge of football is just as woeful, in which case you may be better off heading back to twitter - a place littered with intellectually debates and highly amusing memes.

For those of you who are still here, without further ado my POTW is Daniel Cowan, now if you haven't heard of him then don't worry I'll be sure to tell you everything you need to know. Daniel is a well-spoken lover of synonyms, his interests include squirrel disembowelment, ladle based fellatio and a simply unhealthy obsession with carnivorous bullfrogs. Now the reasons for Daniel being my POTW are two-fold, the first being that he "owned me" on Twitter - his bantage would put even the mighty Carl Jenkinson to shame and by nature I am a bitter loser. The second reason is that he attempted to name me as his POTW on the Goonersphere Podcast (you should listen if you haven't already) whilst making a couple of incorrect assertions, the principle one being that I wanted to be named POTW in some desperate attempt for attention - I mean seriously, do I really look that much like a flipping accountant?

At this point I should probably avoid mentioning the fact that I wear glasses and that I'm pretty good at maths *sigh*. I should also probably take the opportunity to apologise for that remark about accountants, I won't since I found it funny but I merely said it in jest not because I wish to spark full blown Arsenal based twitter warfare. So congratulations Daniel, I wish you well in your future endeavours to retain your title (I'm rooting for yah).

That felt good. I apologise profusely to those who came for the football but I really needed to get that out of my system. What will follow will surely be a completely unbiased and completely factual analysis on the respective title hopes of the potential contenders... and if you believed that then I'd also like to inform you that I am in fact a Prince who is unable to access his £50 million inheritance, and for the small time one off fee of £95.95 I will be able to access my inheritance fund and I will share the monies with you. And I shouldn't have to say this, but that was an attempt at satire. For those of you who think that went without saying then here is a link to a group of people who are suing/sued Red Bull because it didn't give them wings. http://www.inquisitr.com/1531462/red-bull-settlement-red-bud-does-not-give-you-wings-but-they-may-give-you-cash/ - ingenious idiots, what will they think of next? 

Anyways, forget that and on to the football.

Podcast Sketches

Featured On

FFC Blog Network Arsenal News & Transfers

Arsenal PRSS Arsenal News

“as

Partners