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ArseWars: Episode I - A New Scope

The Arsenal fought bravely (bereft of the traditional flair) up until the Christmas holidays, but the expected happened... the inevitable collapse of what was a beleaguered and injured playing force. The fans felt Groundhog Day for the umpteenth time and there were rumblings of a mutiny within the stadium itself. In typical Arsenal style, the protest never really got going – half-hearted attempts of over throwing a long term leader were somewhat drowned out by those that are still loyal the man who has steered us to many (and some would argue not too many in the recent memory) successes.

Despite our horrendous collapse and the potential glory that the wankers down the lane might have, we somehow managed to finish in second spot. This was miraculous considering the poor season we had and the successful one we should have experienced. Despite the disappointing nature of the season, a strong blow was softened by what was a fucking funny last day of the season. The scum collapsed and we revelled, and rightly so, in their demise. Some of the goner faithful felt that it was a sad indictment of the times – that our season had come to basking in the failures of what is a shit house of a club – but some, like myself, thought if you can’t enjoy that what the hell can you enjoy?

A new campaign lies ahead, but the Arsenal faithful are concerned about the lack of activity in the transfer marker. Stocked, with vast wealth, Arsène seems reluctant to part with cash. The fans grow restless...

Enough with the Star Wars narrative crap - onto the blog...

This is my first blog. Like, ever. I’m getting involved in this as I’m starting to get a little bit jaded (Wengerism unintended) of the polarisation and hyperbole of the Arsenal Twittersphere. I completely understand the extreme ends on which all of our opinions sit. I really do. Allow me to explain...

We Arsenal fans can be (sometimes rightly) accused of coming across as a bit arrogant. We like to think we go about our business (off and on the pitch) in a different way to other clubs. We pride ourselves on class, tact, respect. We like to play in certain way. We like to be thought of in a certain way. We like to have a certain reputation. Most of all, we want to be seen as successful. It’s this idea of success that polarises our fan base...

Success, my way. No, my way. No, my way.

Some see Arsène as a legend. Rightly so. The man has achieved tremendous things for our club and dragged us (at the cost of his own reputation) into the modern game. Some would argue this is a good and a bad thing. What can’t be disputed is that he has given us everything at great personal sacrifice. Some see him as unquestionable figure, a sentinel of sensibility in an otherwise farcical see of twats and overpaid arseholes (looking at you, Mourinho).

Some see Arsène as a bit of a dinosaur. A once pioneer who replaced the booze, fags and Tuesday drinking sessions with a lovely salad and a glass of water. Others say he’s failed to maintain his brilliance and others have usurped his once shiny crown. That gloss was removed by managers like Mourinho (c*nt) and Guardiola. Managers who were younger, “sexier” and winning a considerable amount more than him.

He can cut a stubborn figure, often waiting until late in the game to make what seem like obvious and much needed changes. Arsène can also (Alexis and Özil aside) frustrate in the transfer market, when compared with other clubs leaving many Gooners feeling they’ve been undersold on high ticket prices. The Wenger Out crowd can rightly point to our high prices and lack of investment in the club. It’s not unreasonable to expect the fans’ hard earned cash to be pumped back into the squad.

Let me get this straight – both sides are equally fucking annoying. I know people on both sides, and both of you make my piss boil.


Both sides (WOB and AKB) attack any situation to come out of the club with a fixed and immovable view point. Hence all the arguments and vitriol between fans... you can’t change a twat's mind because a twat's mind is already made up. They just want a fight.

Neither side can approach a loss or transfer update without it being used to further what is an already boring and frustrating agenda. Gazidis comes out and says “we can’t compete financially with the big boys”, and it becomes rhetorical fodder for both.




This leaves the rational and sensible fan feeling a bit deflated and generally thinking both sides are full of reactionary c*nts who just want RTs and followers (neither of which are any reflection on your worth, credibility of opinion or make you a good person – Piers has millions of followers and he’s a cock womble of galactic proportions).

Both parties carry a smugness, a sense of childish “I told you so” that smacks of arrogance. No one likes being preached to in any context. Don’t tell me “I said this would happen years ago” because I couldn’t give two flying acrobatic shits.

So what? It’s made no difference to the events that have unfolded and you end up just looking like a smug arse. No one’s a winner. Despite all this...

We’ve got a lot to be frustrated about. We’ve had to sit through summer after summer knowing what we need and the club seemingly ignoring what should be obvious requirements in the team. I’m not going to go through what they are. You know what they are. The club knows what they are!

Yet, we sit here days before the first game still needing what we do.

So much money in the bank

How much? I don’t know. I can’t seem to track down a definitive figure. The papers say one thing, the AST say another and the club plays down our financial fire power to such an extent you’d think we’d struggle to get a round in in a Yates’. What we do know is that we are able to spend a lot of money on players – it’s just how much are we willing to do that?

The long argument has been, is it Arsène or the club who refuses to spend? Honestly, I think it’s a little bit of both.

The club has become regimented in keeping a tight hand on the purse strings (and to some small extent should be applauded for this). They’ve had to rein in the spending because of our transition from Highbury to the bowl (still doesn’t feel like home to me).

The club also sends out conflicting messages about our finances – “we can afford to buy any player other than Ronaldo or Messi” “We can’t compete with the big boys financially!” Well. Which one is it? No wonder some Gooners are on the brink of biting their own bollocks off! They’re being told conflicting information by the same people. That’s enough to drive anyone to drink. As for Arsène, he seems to have a fixed opinion in his head of what a player is worth and will not go above it. This has been the cause of much frustration of late (Lacazette, Higuain, to name a few).

We’ve not progressed footballing wise for some time now. The two FA Cups were great, and if you can’t enjoy them piss right off, but they’ve put a gloss on our shortcomings in the league and in Europe. 2015/16 was our year. Hard to argue otherwise. So many clubs fell by the wayside and Arsenal did what they love to do... They dangled the carrot of hope in front of our noses and snatched it away, leaving us with that feeling when you get kicked in the balls lightly. You know the feeling. The one that makes you feel sick for 20 minutes and leaves you telling your mates, “I’m alright, just give me some space.”

And here we are again!

We’re deep into another window with our weakness staring us directly in the face shitting it that we may not get what we sorely need. Hurrah! If there was a footballing award for sadism, Gooners would win on a landslide (that is of course if we were allowed to vote in the internet poll).

I’ve made a vow this year to not let the transfer machine piss me off. I’ve stepped back. Got some perspective. You cannot change what the club does. As soon as you remove yourself from that then you actually end up enjoying your summer! 

Who’da thunk it?! 

It’s obviously bothering me to an extent (you don’t write your first blog because you’re feeling entirely content), but I’m generally not that uptight at the minute. Try it. You might like it. Sit tight. Wait it out. Take each situation on its own merit. Evaluate. Analyse. Think. Don’t be so reactionary.

I want to see this club succeed and so does every other Gooner on the planet. You don’t have to call someone out on Twitter every two seconds because you disagree with them.

Someone’s opinions may not be for you and that’s okay. Unfollow them. Simple. There’s a shit ton of accounts I’ve unfollowed because I don’t like their opinions. It’s as easy as that.

We stand at a crossroads. One paths leads to glory and the other, well, not so much...

 Tell us what you think! If you agree, or have a different view, please leave a comment in the comments section or why not write a response or your own article on YouWrite?

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Tags: Arsene Wenger, Arsenal, gazidis, Transfers, AKB, WOB, Signings, Star Wars, Fans

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