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Signing Javi Martinez would make me soil myself

Greetings, all who moved their mouse over the link to this Arsenal-related piece of writing and subsequently pressed down on the mouse with such force that it gave way and sent you to this wondrous land of football ramblings. I join you in the wake of Arsenal completing the most prestigious double in all of world football; the winning of the FA Cup and the Community Shield.

Aside from the fact that I still don't classify the Shield as a competitive game, I do take back what I said about the club being indifferent about the outcome. It seems to have even further lifted the mood around the squad, and the optimism of everyone associated with Arsenal is dangerously high. While losing wouldn't have had a major impact on us, it's never nice to have to recover from a "final" loss of sorts, even if that final is one of the most pointless matches around.

Having said that, I don't believe the most promising part of that game was the result. While three-nil is a brilliant scoreline against a Manchester City side who, although weakened, were still overflowing with quality, the way we won it was properly exciting.

The match saw debuts handed to Debuchy, Chambers, Alexis, and Campbell, and it was hardly a bad day for them to get going. While Joel came on too late to make an impact, the other three all showed more of the excitement and potential that was evident in preseason. Debuchy bombed forward with ease, linking well with Chambo 2.0 on many occasions. The central defender didn't do so bad, either, proving once again that he will be able to be relied upon to fill in wherever necessary.

His maturity at the back is really quite astounding considering his age, and that, along with his excellent reading of the game, ability to venture up the pitch and give the team some valuable assistance, and eyebrows to make even Jenkinson himself jealous, make his future look especially bright.

The final debutant, Alexis, definitely isn't at his sharpest right now, but even when not at 100%, the impact he has on us is incredible. He brings a totally different effect than Walcott, because Theo doesn't run the game at all. He doesn't dictate the speed of the game; he just provides a quick option for someone to pass to.

Alexis is special, in that he can easily act as both the creator and the outlet. While Theo runs away from the ball, hoping someone can find him, Alexis comes to the ball and looks to be in possession at virtually all times. He's a guy that looks like he wants to run the game, and the tempo that he brings us is wonderful. Add that to the skill he has off the ball, and his apparent finishing abilities, and we have ourselves a player.

According to several reliable media outlets, respected journalists, and Wayne Veysey, Arsenal are looking at Greek defender Kostas Manolas to serve as Vermaelen's direct replacement. He looked good at the World Cup, but that's about all I can tell you about him. That, and he has a lovely, flowing name.

Of course, being Vermaelen's supposed replacement means that our now former captain has finally departed us. Thankfully, he's gone off to Barcelona instead of to Manchester United, so we'll only have to see him when we're inevitably drawn against the Catalans in the Champions League. I wish he didn't leave us, but I can totally understand why he did. At least he did it with some class (cough cough, Robin you utter pr*ck-faced, sp*nk rocket of a tw*t-muffin, cough cough. T*sser.).

The gap that he's left is, like Nasri's bumhole, gaping, and it's something that looks like is being addressed. Talk of a holding midfielder has stopped altogether, and although we know this doesn't necessarily mean it's not happening, it doesn't look too promising. Some rumours are saying that he's looking for a 2-in-1 kind of guy, to act as both cover for centre back and a viable option at holding midfield.

I really hope this is true, because I still haven't given up on the chance of William Carvalho joining us. He certainly fits the criteria of being able to play both roles with ease, and I still have a massive football crush on the man.

Even if he's not going to sign, however, there are other players who can similarly play both roles with comfort. The best of all has to be Javi Martinez out of FC Bayern, a player that we were heavily linked with earlier in the year. As much as I love William, Javi Martinez would be as close to perfect as a player can be for us. I might never forgive Wenger for the massive stain on my undergarments that signing would cause me.

Javi Martinez

Having said all of that, this is based off one small little whisper that I madly hope is true. Supposing we end up with the much likelier outcome that we just sign a defender, it wouldn't be the end of the world. Arteta, despite what many amateur tactical geniuses may have you think on Twitter, is not a cripple. He is still a class player capable of playing among the best, and I'm sure we'd be able to cope with him playing as our holding midfielder.

We'd still have Wilshere, Flamini, Chambers, and, dare I say it, Coquelin, able to fill in there, so it's not like we're totally deprived of options. Anyway, Arteta played well on Sunday, dictating much of the play without a hint of an issue.

In another area of the pitch that was a huge topic of conversation early this summer, Yaya Sanogo really impressed me in the Shield. While he still can't score unless the ball is drilled at him so that all he has to do is stick out a foot and hope for the best, his movement gave a makeshift City defense a real bitch of a headache.

Anyway, when surrounded by players like Ramsey, Alexis, Cazorla, Walcott, and maybe even Mesut, goals aren't the only way to make a difference. Sanogo's running frees up so much space for the actual footballers to get in there and do their thing, allowing for a much easier way into the opposition's goal.

While Giroud showed that he can still score outside of the bedroom, and indeed the box, we played far slower with him on the pitch. Maybe it was a side effect of being ahead, but if we had been playing at that pace from the start, we wouldn't have been looking at a three-nil win.

Finally, it was officially announced that Arteta would be the club captain over the course of the next season. While I think Mertesacker would be better suited to the role, it would've been a real kick in the balls to overlook the vice-captain. Besides, it's not like Mertesacker can't be a leader because he doesn't have a band around his arm. The best clubs have teams full of leaders, and right now, I think we have that.

I'll be back for the opening weekend of the greatest league in the world. Here's to hoping Chamakh finally comes good and scores a hat trick for us.

Enjoy the rest of your week.

Editors note:

This article was written before Martinez tore his ACL however the idea of Josh soiling himself was amusing enough to set the title plus if you think about it, we'd all sh!t ourselves if we signed a player with a torn ACL!

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Tags: Arsenal FC, Arteta, Vermaelen, Goonersphere, Sanogo, Debuchy, Arsenal Football Club, Sanchez, Martinez, Chambers, Carvalho, Alexis, Nasri, Manolas, Captaincy

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