WHEN YOU LAST TUNED IN, OUR DASHING HEROES WERE DELVING DEEP INTO THE SORDID UNDERBELLY OF STAMFORD BRIDGE ON THE HUNT FOR THE NEFARIOUS MISCREANT WHO HAS BEEN SPINNING A WEB OF TRANSFER SPURIOUS-NESS!!
THE TWO WONDER-DETECTIVES HAD BEEN COWARDLY KNOCKED OUT COLD BY AN UNKNOWN ASSAILANT!
CAN OUR AMAZING DUO ESCAPE WITH THEIR LIVES? CAN THEY FOIL THE DASTARDLY PLAN OF THE TRANSFER SHIT-SPREADER? WILL I EVER STOP TYPING IN CAPITAL LETTERS?!
IT'S TIME TO FIND OUT FOLKS! IT'S THE THRILLING CONCLUSION TO......
It was hot. Damn hot. Hot enough to cook eggs on the hood of your Buick. The weather forecasters hadn't seen the heatwave coming, now the rush for air conditioning systems, icecube trays and Rocket Lollies was incessant and a necessity.
It was also quiet. Off-season had left Gunnersaurus and me with time to kill and cigarettes to smoke but not much else. It would seem there wasn't much demand for football gumshoes when football wasn't being played. I should've seen this coming. My time in Brazil working under the guise of a pundit had gotten me a good suntan but in terms of evidence, I had more chance of signing Bouldy and Ivan up to be stunt doubles for the Mitchell Bros than lining up Blatter for the Judge's gavel. I don't enjoy injustice so leaving the home of Samba with nothing was like a slap to the face.
I've found it difficult to start this blog. I'm not writing about a certain player, or infuriating media bias or even emotionally fuelled nonsense, which is a speciality. The subject of this piece is something that a churlish, phlegmatic approach is not respectful enough, nay, wouldn't be fit enough to lace Mickey Thomas's boots. I need to don the white gloves, lower the harsh, fluorescent lights and type in hushed taps. This event deserves revered glances, the best seats in the house. If it were a celebrity it would undoubtedly have a ' An Audience With ' show on PrimeTime TV, the crowd filled with the Hoi-Palloi of acting talent.
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